Dollars Make Sense.

Lil’ B.

Posted in introducing.. by Jason Mekkam on July 19, 2010

This is Lil’ B. He’s horrendous.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Like really, just devastatingly awful. Bad rappers fall into three categories:

    1. The Just Terrible – Rappers whose lyrical shortcomings are blatantly obvious and sad enough that even pointing out their wackness is redundant (e.g. Plies, Tony Yayo).
    1. The Terribly Awesome – Rappers you know suck. I know suck. But their suck nevertheless entertains/makes us feel good. They define guilty pleasure. Thusly we celebrate the harmless nonsensicality that are their rhymes (e.g. Soulja Boy, Lil Jon).
  • And finally there’s..

    1. Black Hole Machine Terrible – Rappers that are so dangerously bad, they simply cannot be ignored because their very shittasticness threatens the continued existence of life on this planet as we know it.
  • Lil B is the quintessential MC behind door number three.

    Remember in 40-Year-Old Virgin when Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen played that “You Know How I Know Your Gay?” game. Replace “gay” with “awful” and I could go in all day on Lil’ B:

    Lil B, you know how I know your awful?

    Because Andy “Peas On My Head But Don’t Call Me a Peehead” Milonakis just murdered you on his own shit.

    Lil B, you know how I know your awful?

    Because you really just started off this track by saying “Licorice necklace, I look like Madonna” and that’s not even close to being the fucking most outrages piece of hot garbage you spat on this track.

    Lil B, you know how I know your awful?

    Because you call girls “fags”, call yourself a pretty bitch, and you have a freestyle titled “I’m a Faggot”. Oh, and also happened to you:

    Vodpod videos no longer available.

    Believe it or not, Lil B, former member of The Pack, has actually garnered a significant following. He’s big in the Bay, has over 39,000 followers on Twitter, and is getting cosigns from artists like Chip The Ripper and online publications like Pitchfork.

    Which all leads me to my main point: WTF is going on here? I feel like I myself am in Inception, just waiting any second now for Juno to wake me up from a dream (Sidenote: That movie was banana nuts. I got mind fucked. No lube. My brain is still puffing a cig while trying to recover).

    This dude is so bad I feel crazy for even having to make an argument that he’s bad. But it’s for this precise reason why I think he’s dangerous. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was fooling us into believing he didn’t exist. Now I’m not comparing Lil B to Lucifer. I’m just saying when it’s 80 degrees outside, putting on a winter-coat just cuz the weatherman told you to is crazy right?

    So trust your ears and eyes. Don’t believe the hype. I’m begging you.

    Fecal Matter > Lil B.

    End story.

    Video: Hoes On My Dick feat. Lil B by Andy Milonakis

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    3 Responses

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    1. "El Guapo" Dove said, on July 20, 2010 at 9:15 am

      Verbatim:

      “Bitches on my dick cuz I look like Marilyn Manson, I look like Bill Gates mixed with Obama…”

      I think my feelings would be best expressed through a monologue from Billy Madison: “Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

      Everything from the way it was recorded, to the beat, to the lyrics, to their little dance, to the scenery, to their outfits is incredibly “horrendous” and leaves me with an eerie feeling. Add the simple fact that Andy Milonakis is 36 and creeps me out, this so-called “music video” has scarred me for life and is now stuck in my head and has successfully ruined my day.

      Shot out and much thanks to Lil’ B

      • WULU said, on July 21, 2010 at 4:08 pm

        ^^^

        Billy Madison >>>>>>>>>>> Lil B

        No soup for B!

    2. Say What? « Dollars Make Sense. said, on July 22, 2010 at 1:55 am

      […] Posted in smh. by WULU on July 22, 2010 Lil’ B […]


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