Dollars Make Sense.

You Get No Beats: Thank Me Later.

Posted in reviews. by Jason Mekkam on June 19, 2010

You’re in for a treat!

Welcome to the inaugural edition of You Get No Beats. This is gonna be much fun. As you most def know, Drake dropped his much much anticipated album Thank Me Later a couple days ago. Although let’s be real. You and I both know you bootlegged that shit couple week’s back when it leaked. Shame shame. Now some poor black/Jewish/Canadian/former teen actor/rapper/singer/Young Money Millionaire is gonna go without supper tonight cuz you stole from him. Damn near took the spoon right up out his mouth. All cuz you just had to get yo fix a little early. Tisk to the mother lovin’ tisk.

But it’s aight. We like familia. Blood don’t turn on blood. Your secret is safe with me.

I think most album reviews are tired. And pretentious. I’m just sayin. At the end of the say who really cares? I mean who gives anyone the right to claim their word is bond and place certain albums on peddlestool while banishing others to eternal damnation. Nonsense I say. So why not switch things up a bit you dig? You Get No Beats is kinda sorta like an album review, but more like game. Here’s how we play: rather than me go thru the album and bullshit you on how the beat on this track could use less snare or how Drizzy could have came harder on that track, I’mma instead go through each song and pick out a line that resonates. For whatever reason. Good. Bad. It don’t matter. Then based solely on that line I’m gonna form an entire opinion of said song. Fair? Nah. Logical? Prally not. Fun? Like my favorite former governor of Alaska say, “You Betcha.”

At the end, I’ll wrap it up with a verdict. Either TML gets beats or no beats.

Beats = The album is dope. Get to coppin with the quickness.

Or..

No Beats = Shit is gar gar. Don’t even bother bootleggin off the internets. Save yo gigabytes.

No dispensing of ratings, stars, or arbitrary decimal points here (yes, shots fired at you Pitchfork). We keeping everything real Siskel & Ebert up in this bitch. Either we likes or we dislikes.

Simplicty at its finest.

So yall got it? Coolio. Let’s get started. And buckle up.

Cuz now I’m bout to really go off..

1. Fireworks f. Alicia Keys (prod. Crada & 40)

“Money just changed everything, I wonder how life without it would go”

Haha, I hope you caught that little transition? Cuz I thought it was pretty cute.

Hmm.. So Drizzy, you’re wondering how life without loot would go? Well aight. I’ll tell you. You know the chicks you’re pulling now? Reduce that number by 95%. And them cars? Get rid of them too. The entourage? Heck get rid of it all. The gear. The shine. The glory. Gone.

You know where that leaves you? Toweling away at some 9 to 5 or bullshitin like the rest of us.

There. Simple question. Simple answer. Next?

2. Karaoke (prod. Francis & The Lights)

“Isn’t it ironic that the girl I wanna marry is a wedding planner/ And tells me my life’s too much and moves to Atlanta.”

Aight, this question is a little trickier.

Irony is one of the most incorrectly used literary devices in the English language. On the regular people apply it to situations that aren’t actually ironic at all. So let’s clear things up:

irony –noun, plural -nies. an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.

It could be assumed, to a certain degree, that people’s professions would mirror their interests, attitudes, and beliefs. Thus we may assume a police officer would avoid cheating on his taxes at all costs, a doctor never take up smoking, and an adult film star may spend a disproportionate amount of her free time getting busy . Makes sense.

In the same fashion, we might expect that a wedding planner may perhaps be more inclined than your average lady to tie the knot, seeing how she helps everyone else do so. But in this circumstance, she doesn’t want to get married but instead dissolves the relationship by relocating at the first sight of turbulence, thus acting contrary to what we might have expected.

So yes Drake, you’re situation is indeed ironic. Correct usage. Good job my dude. Now if only you could teach your boy Hov a few lessons.

3. The Resistance (prod. 40)

“I avoided the Coke game and went with Sprite instead”

Haha. Ok so for those of you not in the know, a couple months back Drake did this wack Sprite commercial. He got a lot of heat for it too. The spot was extra corny. And weird. What was with his body coming apart like that? And his ears poppin out like Dumbo? And on top of that dude didn’t even put his head phones on when he went back into the song. I mean bless his heart.

I admire him for sticking by his decision/reaffirming it with this little line right here. But on the other hand the proof is in the pudding. And no matter how you slice it, that commercial was nutty. Like cornbread.

*shrug*

Sorry Drizzy. I calls em like I sees em.

4. Over (prod. Boi-1da & Al-Khaaliq)

“I shouldn’t’ve drove, tell me how I’m gettin’ home/ You too fine to be layin’ down in bed alone”

I swear. Every Thursday thru Saturday night. Without fail. I’m thinking the exact same thing.

5. Show Me A Good Time (prod. Kanye West)

“Can’t get me right and not do Wayne/ Cash money young money pop champagne”

It ain’t no fun if the homies can’t get none!

Free Weezy.

6. Up All Night f. Nicki Minaj (prod. Boi-1da)

“Shout out to the fact that I’m the youngest nigga doing it”

Not so fast..

According to Wikipedia:

B.o.B – Born November 15, 1988. Aged 21.
Big Sean – Born March 25, 1988. Aged 22.
Wiz Khalifa – Born September 8, 1987. Aged 22.
Drake – Born October 24, 1986. Aged 23.

Embellish much?

7. Fancy f. T.I . & Swizz Beatz (prod. Swizz Beatz)

“Well aren’t you a breath of fresh air from all these superficial gold digging bitches in here/ They get a baller figure they aint got to pick a career/ Guess they plan on sucking dicks until some millions appear like Voila!”

The KING is back. I’m sorry Drizzy, while T.I. didn’t necessarily merk you on you’re own shit, dude most def stole the spotlight with perhaps the funniest line of 2010. Larry Hughes!

Sidenote: 99.9 percent of the time, Swizz Beatz bugs (even more so now that he successfully pulled Ms. Keys. How does that even happen?) But I’m gonna give mad props for giving me my favorite hip-hop catchphrase/rap utterance right behind Gucci Mane’s “Gucci!”:

“Oh you fancy huh?”

Fucking brilliant. These four words have brought me more joy, shits and giggles than you could imagine. I even dedicated an entire post to em. They’re contagious.

“Oh you fancy huh?”

The sheer audacity of such a question leaves me in awe. So honest. So blunt. So inquisitive. So nonchalant. Fellas, next time you’re out, I strongly encourage you to say this to every chick you meet. It’s the pick-up line that can’t go wrong.

“Oh you fancy huh?”

If she respondes positively, she takes the question as a compliment, laughs and the ice is broken. If she responds negatively, then you were punkin her anyways and on to the next one. Either way it’s a win win.

“Oh you fancy huh?”

Yo like I said..

Fucking brilliant.

8. Shut It Down f. The-Dream (prod. Omen & 40)

I hate this song. Skip.

9. Unforgettable f. Young Jeezy (prod. Boi-1da & 40)

“The good die young so I’m gon need a thug wife/ Yeah, I’m talking his and her firearms”

His and her firearms??? Precious.

10. Light Up f. Jay-Z (prod. Tone Mason & 40)

“I’ve been up for 4 days Getting money both ways/ Dirty and clean, I could use a glass of cold Spades”

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present to you exhibit A. Lyrical evidence Drake has been hanging around Wayne far too much.

Oh so you getting dirty money now Drizzy? I mean for real Wheelchair Jimmy? What you selling cheat sheets on Degrassi High?

What’s next? You gonna start shoutin out Soo-Woo on tracks? Oh.. wait. Nevermind.

11. Miss Me f. Lil Wayne (prod. Boi-1da w/ 40)

“My bitches do it till they suck the brown off”

Uh. Wayne that’s nasty. And sounds painful. Dude I don’t think it’s supposed to work like that. Your girls must be doing something wrong.

I”m unofficially dubbing this track Ransom Pt. 2 I thinks. In the words of Wayne himself, these two stompped on this beat like a motherfuckin Sigma. Not a single bad thing I can say about this track. Nada.

12. Cece’s Interlude

“Uhh, I wish I wasn’t famous”

Again man, as I said on Fireworks, you don’t mean it Drizzy. Trust.

13. Find Your Love (prod. Kanye West & Jeff Bhasker)

“I better find your loving/ I better find your heart”

Females got this song all twisted. Thinking it’s sweet and romantic and whatnot. Far from it.

Ladies, you know when your man does something nice for you. When he buys you flowers for no special reason? When he spends the entire day shopping with you while you search with avengence for that extra cute halter-top to complement your new pair of Sevens? When he offers you that last piece of red velvet cake, even though he loves him some red velvet more than life itself?

Oh you think he’s doing that outta the kindness of his heart? Cuz he loves you? Sike.

You wanna know what his real motive is? You wanna know what he’s really thinking?

“Girl I better find yo lovin tonight! Oh you giving it up. Mama made me that red velvet. How you gonna just eat the last piece like that? You don’t know an empty gesture when you hear one? Nope. Hell na. Fuck that. You know what? Oh I’m finding your love tonight. Bet! We getting buck. I mean super freaky. RICK JAMES BITCH!”

See ladies. Context changes everything.

Men are dogs. True story.

14. Thank Me Now (prod. Timbaland)

“You can thank me now”

Aight. Um.. Thanks.

Verdict:

I’ll cut to the chase. All jokes aside, the album is fire. I can’t hate. Drake does his thing. I’m giving him beats major. Take it for what you will. Sure some might gripe that there’s too much R&B, too many features, but whatever. Let the dude live. I like. That’s that.

Thank Me Later.

In stores now.

And on your computer.

Two weeks ago.

You little bootlegger you..

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11 Responses

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  1. Omari said, on June 18, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    Shut it down goes hard. Pause. Just ask Isaiah. I agree with everything else tho. Good shit fam. You should do the 9 AM in Dallas track next cuz it is technically on there. Bro is this what you do up in your room all day????

    • WULU said, on June 19, 2010 at 9:00 am

      na man i was sick. took some meds. knocked my ass out. i was asleep for 14 hours. not a good look.

  2. JPD3 said, on June 19, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    realest shit i ever read:

    “Girl I better find yo lovin tonight! Oh you giving it up. My mama made me that red velvet. How you gonna just up and take the last piece like that? You don’t know an empty gesture when you hear one? Nope. Hell na. Fuck that. I’m finding you’re love. Tonight! We getting buck. I mean super freaky. RICK JAMES BITCH!”

    See ladies. Context changes everything.

    Men are dogs. True story.

  3. Deyen said, on June 20, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    (clap, clap, clap) well done sir, well done

  4. Kariann said, on June 23, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    I’m glad I read this track by track play before I actually listen to the album, it will make it all the better. 🙂

    Funny funny.

  5. I Kicknowledge said, on June 28, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    love the larry hughes reference, wow, that brought me back to ’05 when he was good. but word, i was skeptical about listening to this just cuz people hate to hate and be lame… but the humor in this makes me wanna listen to this and be like ‘yea, def see what wulu was getting at.’

    respect man, and damn it if she eats that cake, there is gon be hell to pay

  6. tbeck said, on June 29, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    I have to disagree with your review on Drizzy’s quote from song 3, The Resistance. He’s not just referring to the Sprite commercial.

    “It’s happenin Penny Lane, just like you said. I avoided the Coke game and went with Sprite instead.”

    He’s gotta be referring to the movie Almost Famous here. You must not have seen it.

    Also, I feel that he’s tryin to say that he doesn’t mess with cocaine. Instead he’d rather sip his sprite (easter pink) with Wayne.

    And least importantly, he is referring to the sprite commercial he did.

    Triple Entendre or what?

    • WULU said, on July 6, 2010 at 2:55 am

      haha. iunno yo.

      the jury is still out..

  7. Gucci! « Dollars Make Sense. said, on July 2, 2010 at 3:26 am

    […] for making me happy (And giving me favorite rap catchphrase right in front of “Oh you fancy huh?“), Gucci, you I co-sign. And to the haters, I say fuck […]

  8. […] moms thought the first one was adorable, so I figure we’d give it another go, […]

  9. Miss Me. « Dollars Make Sense. said, on August 20, 2010 at 8:17 pm

    […] still think that’s […]


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